Driving in Dallas TX

Found this article at Joomla.org Humur, Fun and Games section… This is funny but true. But could not defeat driving in Philippines.

First, you must learn to pronounce the city name. It is DAL-LUS or DAA-LUS depending on if you live inside or outside LBJ Freeway.

Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere.

Dallas has its own version of traffic rules…”Hold on and pray.”

There is no such thing as a dangerous high-speed chase in Dallas. We all drive like that.

The morning rush hour is from 6 to 10. The evening rush hour is from 3 to 7. Friday’s rush hour starts on Thursday morning.

If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear-ended, cursed, and possibly shot.

When you are the first one on the starting line, count to five when the light turns green before going, to avoid crashing with all the drivers who think yellow followed by red means go very fast.

Construction is a way of life and a permanent form of entertainment.

If someone actually has their turn signal on, it is either a factory defect or an “outsider.”

Car horns are actually “Road Rage” indicators, and remember, it’s legal to be armed in Texas.

All old ladies with blue hair in Mercedes have the right of way. Period. And remember, it’s legal to be armed in Texas.

If asking directions in Irving or SE Dallas, you must have knowledge of Spanish. If in central Richarson or on Harry Hines, Mandarin Chinese will be your best bet. If you stop to ask directions on Gaston or Live Oak, you better be armed. (And remember, it’s legal to be armed in Texas.)

A trip across town (east to west) will take a minimun of four hours, although many north/south freeways have unposted minimum speeds of 75. The minumum acceptable speed on the Dallas North Toll Road is 85. Anything less is considered downright sissy.

The wrought iron on windows near Oak Cliff and Fair Park is not ornamental!!!!!

It is possible to be driving WEST in the NORTH-bound lane of EAST NORTHWEST Highway. Don’t let this confuse you.

The Dallas North Tollway is our daily version of NASCAR.

LBJ Freeway is called “The Death Trap” for two reasons: “death” and “trap”.

If it is 100 degrees, Thanksgiving must be next weekend. If it’s 10 degrees and sleeting/snowing, the Fort Worth Stock Show is going on.

If it’s rained 6 inches in the last hour, and it is springtime, the Byron Nelson Golf Classic is in the second round. If it is autumn, then the State Fair is in full swing.

Final Warning: Don’t Mess With Texas Drivers.